A SCUBA Tank of Irony

 Ah Bali. You come here for the clinics, yes?

Ah Bali. You come here for the clinics, yes?

How did I end up here?

(yes, I drop the F bomb once below).

So 3 weeks ago I started scouring the Internet looking for dive companies to take me diving at the various ports on my circumnavigation of Australia. You would think that around an island nation, with some of the best diving in the world, this would be an easy task. But no, no it is not.

  • Brisbane - none
  • Cairns - nope
  • Darwin - not even a dive company open
  • Bali - yes
  • Geraldton - call us the day before arrival
  • Perth - nah

Generally the reason for all these no's ties into schedules. With most ports being tender ports everything is delayed. So even though the ship arrives 7am. You are probably looking at arrival on land closer to 9am if you are lucky. Closer to midday if you don't want to take part in the morning rush. Given that most dive boats head out around 8am this makes diving (especially Cairns) very difficult. I also found the dive companies there were rather rigid in their policies, eg I like to dive with a bigger tank 12-15l. My size, lung capacity and still learning to SCUBA with more efficiency mean I burn my air. And while a smaller diver may get 40 minutes or more out of a tank, I am generally 10-15 mins less.

Neptune Scuba Dive Bali is the only company that replies in the positive. Absolutely, we will pick you up from the port. Drive you to the dive site. Provide gear as reqd. Yay! 😀 Finally a dive is organised. 

The next happens over a series of emails. 

I ask about water temperature. Julian (the owner) tells me is 27-28°. I tell him I don’t need a wetsuit. 

He says you really should have a wetsuit. 

I replied that I was ok. I can dive 27° without. He says it’s not about thermal protection. It’s about protection from scorpion fish, fire coral and stone fish. (I’m not really sure how much protection a 3mm wetsuit provides against any of those but I then agree after all he’s the local expert).

 mola mola

mola mola

We also discuss dive sites. The first is a drift dive in Nusa Penida, with the possible sighting of manta rays ands mola mola. This I am excited about. The other is much closer to shore and often used for training grounds Pedang Bai. Lots of smaller fish and maybe, some white and black tip reef sharks. And maybe just maybe some sun fish if you’re lucky. 

The Nusa Penida is the option we both agree is the better dive to do. But time is of the essence. I have to get from the ship to the dive shop ASAP so as to make it to the dive location. 

I manage to get myself a spot on the first tender, so things are looking up. Nusa Penida here we come. But then the tender operation is delayed by 15 minutes. There are 2 tenders, the ship ones (slightly tweaked life boats, which are slow). And the local fast ones, of course they first tender is a slow one. (Fast tenders do the run to the wharf in around 20m, slow 30-40m). The long and the short I am ashore almost an hour later than I had hoped. Looks like Nusa Penida is scrapped.

I get ashore, and after a few minutes meet the driver and off we head. He navigates Bali traffic well, (Bali's traffic is pretty chaotic, not the most chaotic I have encountered, but I really would be uncomfortable driving there) and gets me to the dive shop remarkably without any damage to the vehicle. I meet Julian and his wife Joe, and we have a bit of a chat on where to go. Joe thinks there is time for the Nusa Penida. Julian is less sure. He wants to play it safe and go to the  local dive at Pedang Bai. 

As I really don't want to fly to Perth in wet speedos, a t-shirt and no passport, I agree with Julian and choose Pedang Bai.

So just to give you some idea of the decisions and actions that have lead to this.

  1. I have agreed to wear a long 3mm wetsuit
  2. I managed to secure a position on the first tender
  3. tender boat operations are delayed and the first tender is the slow boat delaying my arrival
  4. risk it with Nusa Penida, play it safe for Pedang Bai, we choose Pedang Bai.

So off we (driver, dive guide and myself) head to Padang Bai. On the way we intercept a motorcyclist from the local gear supplier with a 3mm shorty wetsuit (it looks like it will fit, but I will never know). I tell the dive guide that Julian is pretty adamant that I wear a long wetsuit to protect me from all the things that can sting me in the water. So the dive guide calls ahead to the dive site to organise a long wetsuit from another gear provider.

So adding to the list of actions/decisions -

  1. The wrong wetsuit is delivered
  2. another company has to provide a different wet suit

We arrive at the dive site and the local guy shows up with a wetsuit that’s definitely seen better times, not only that but I also think it’s not going to fit. 

They say try it on, wetsuit guy says it’s the biggest they have. I know it’s not going to fit. But try it on they encourage. 

Meanwhile the 3 young local teens have come to the car to help unload it and pack the boat. 

I put my foot into the first leg. 

And OUCH!!

I Feel a sharp pain on the back of the knee. I think it’s just some plastic or poor stitch in the wetsuit. 

I roll it down to look   

 This centipede ruined my day

This centipede ruined my day

To see this guy scurry away 👉🏼

I try to tell my guide I’ve been sting by a millipede (I incorrectly identified it, turns out it was a centipede), but he doesn’t understand and thinks it’s just some problem with the  wetsuit. He goes to put his arm down the leg and I shout out "STOP" "Be careful". He then carefully flips the wetsuit inside out, the boys helping have now gathered and they all gasp when the centipede comes out. 

My guides next actions all occurred very quickly. He jumps back like a child who has just touched an iron  (that's not good!) He takes a series of "out of focus photos" (see above) and asks the local guy do you have medicine (this is done in Balinese, but it seems the bite has given me a super power of now understanding Balinese) wetsuit guy goes back to his shop, guide goes elsewhere. The teens all sit down and begin to watch me react. It's like "lets watch the white boy die!" 

At first the pain, isn't even that. It's just an awareness that I have been bitten. But then the pain begins to grow. Spreading down into my calf, and now my calf and knee feel like I have an red hot iron poker just hovering over the back of my leg. It's not hurting yet, but damn that heat is growing. 

The guide returns and says "we go to clinic".  After trying to find the clinic (hidden behind a school) the nurse there declines to see me for a reason that is never made clear to me, and my superpower of understanding Balinese has now faded. She directs us to a slightly bigger clinic about 10 minutes away. My guide shows despair, and I have to be honest, between boys watching me, nurse not treating me, and guides despair my concern over what has happened is now well and truly greater than the pain. Am I dead? How toxic is this thing? Do I lose my leg? Muscle tissue decay? Just what has happened to me? We drive up to the clinic and I’m rushed into the ER. Blood pressure is taken (170/110), oxygen given and a injection which I later learn is a mild pain killer, administered. 

A nurse comes over grabs my hand reassuringly and says in broken English (she may have been clearer than that, but as it was already in my head, along with amputation, muscle rot, you know, all the worst case scenarios), "Younna die!" 

Internally I scream "YOUNNA FUCKING WHAT!!!" 😱

Her colleague rushes over "You not die!!" and tries to explain exactly what has happened, it helps, but not much. 

The pain in my calf continues to grow, that poker is now almost touching my calf.

I am kept in the hospital for a while longer for further observation. A Doctor 👩🏾‍⚕️ comes over and tells me what has happened, and tell' me what i’s going to happen and adds you probably won’t sleep because of the pain, blood pressure taken, medical report issued and then I’m discharged. 

  • My night out of Bali was unbelievably painful.
  • Neptune Dive Bali were awesome, made sure everything from pickup to drop-off went smoothly and pain free. (excluding the centipede bite). My Tripadvisor review is here
  • Tendering is always a pain. Bali is a bit more so, probably best avoid time sensitive activities unless you book with your cruise line. Ensuring the ship will wait for your return (and priority departure)
  • If you missed the irony; I put on a wetsuit to protect me from the stinging things in the ocean. I got stung before I entered the ocean

And for those who have asked, P2 of living on board is coming...